Has this ever happened to you? In trying to win back an ex, you've done nothing but run into brick walls? Everything you have attempted has backfired, and now you are in a state of frustration.
The difficulty in trying to win back an ex usually comes down to one critical factor. When you break up with someone you still love and want to be with, the other person is holding all the leverage. This makes it very hard for you to think rationally and do the right things to win back an ex.
Ponder this for a moment. If the one you still love knows that they hold all the leverage between the two of you, they might use that leverage to get all they can from you-manipulating you into doing the craziest of things to make them happy. If you have experience with this, you know that making them happy becomes an impossible target to hit, cause they always want more!
Now, to win back an ex, you need to reverse the balance of power into your favor. In order to pull this off, you need to start by playing it cool with your ex. Move your intense need to get back with them to the back of your mind, and display an external posture of being confident and cool with whatever the outcome.
Focus your mind on other things-like improving yourself, getting involved in a hobby you love, or maybe doing some volunteer work in your local community. Keep busy with these other things and take your mind off of your ex. When they contact you, be civil, but also make it clear that you have a life of your own and it no longer revolves around them.
I need to warn you about something. The things I mentioned may be tough to do. Instead, you may want to take the easy way out and just do favors for you ex and try to "be there for them." You might believe that this gives you a better chance to reconcile with them. This course of action almost never works if you are attempting to win back an ex. One of two things normally happens. Either your ex gets sick of seeing you there all the time, or they start to take advantage of the situation by exploiting you. Whatever way they go, it's a negative outcome for you, so don't be trapped by this pattern of behavior!
If you stay disciplined and play things cool, you will likely see the dynamic of the relationship change rather quickly. Your ex will be the one pursuing you, and you will be the one with the leverage. This will put you in a much stronger position to win back an ex.